Nash's world

This is probably how Bella‘s hand looked after giving Sparkles the vampire a hand job. And since Hollywood has apparently taken my advice on why the breaking dawn must be made into a  movie [click here to read the post]   this really seems appropriate

Even though New Moon has made a bazillion dollars and even though the third Twilight book, Eclipse, is already filming, Summit has declined to announce the fourth and final Twilight book as a movie. There’s a good reason for this: Breaking Dawn is completely fucking insane, and it is probably totally unfilmable. But if they do film it… man, we are in for a treat.

Breaking Dawn opens with Bella Swan, the lacteal heroine of the series, finally getting married to Edward Cullen, the mopey vampire hero. They go off to honeymoon on Isle Esme, a Brazilian island the Cullen clan owns (this is already ridiculous beyond belief. Imagine a vampire going snorkeling; it basically happens in this book), and Edward is afraid to fuck his new bride. The reason: he’s super strong and she’s just a human – Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex type of situation here. But Bella wears him down and Edward throws it in her – and knocks her the fuck out, leaving her badly bruised.

(continue reading…)