by Nashath Rafeeq on Jun.13, 2010, under Uncategorized
:funny, Ideas, kids, reddit, Web
- 1. I’d undoubtably call the child Spider-man or Optimus Prime or something.
- 2. Failing that, I’d just call him or her Optimus Prime or Spiderman or something, regardless of what’s on his/her’s birth cert. To prove, I’ll name my hypothetical child Shepard for the remainder of this list.
- 3. Shepard’s first language would be C.
- 4. I’d train him from day one to be a superhero some day. This is apparently a bad thing.
- 5. I’d smack him if he didn’t use grammar more or less correctly in any language he speaks.
- 6. I’m dyslexic so he would not be able to spell
- 7. I’d leave him in the wilderness at a young age for a few weeks to let him fend for himself.
- 8. I’d feed him a small amount of various toxins every few days in increasing amounts to help him build up a resistance.
- 9. I’d train him in the art of gun kata from four years of age.
- 10. Shepard’s mother would presumably be some sort of android.
- 11. Speaking of, at birth, I would replace a few of his body parts with replaceable robotic ones.
- 12. I’d end up eating all of his Coco Pops.